♥unlockingJo'ssecretdiary

外公。

2011-10-30T21:31:00.001+11:00

我們都叫他公公。

三個星期前的一封簡訊，就傳來了他永遠離開的消息。

我終於了解“晴天霹靂”的含義。

我最害怕的事情終於發生了。一個留學生離開家，最害怕的是家裡傳來噩耗，而卻沒辦法第一時間回去。這次，我不僅不能第一時間回去，我根本就沒辦法回去。我想起了我第一次離開來澳洲的前一晚，我婆婆跟我說：“girl，你去那麼遠，萬一有一天我走了你也不能回來看我。”這句話，千刀萬箭穿心般，殘忍，卻是事實。

我不知道如何反應，也沒辦法反應。我還是一樣地走在同一條上學的路，我還是一如往常地走進了會議室開會。我很冷靜地告訴我的同學我公公去世了。然而，一切卻是那麼地不真實，彷彿我靈魂已抽離了自己，剩下來的軀殼，在履行應有的職務。我開完會打回家給爸爸，問問他事情地經過，我竟然沒有哭，我只是很冷靜很冷靜地聽他大略地描述公公在布吉島心臟病發。

公公每一年都會去布吉島參與九王爺的盛典，只是今年，他回不來了。他再也沒辦法拿他拍下的錄影片，跟我分享他在泰國遇到的一切，還有他在泰國買回來的紀念品和食物了。每次他總會興致勃勃地分享那裡的趣事，拿些他買回來的食物給我們吃；然而，很多時候，我們只會說，不要買這些不健康的零食吃，對身體不好。往往，我們忽略的，是老人家出門在外，還是想念著我們，想要和我們分享一切的心情。現在的我，再也沒有機會，和公公吃著拿些“不健康”的食物，然後聽聽那裡的乩童把腳踏車穿過臉頰的故事了。

一整天的我，彷彿行屍走肉般，我還是沒有辦法面對這個事實。直到我見到了一個很好的朋友，我一句話也沒說，就在他面前哭了好久好久。讓我最心痛的是，我沒辦法陪在我的家人身邊，陪他們一起渡過這個艱難的時刻。我終於鼓起勇氣打給了婆婆，電話中的她語氣很正常，她還一直安慰我說別自責別難過別讓她擔心了，她說老人家老了就是會走的。她的堅強，讓我好心疼！

為甚麼？為甚麼不等我畢業回去好好孝順你？為甚麼不等我把畢業照掛在你家的牆上？兩年前我畫了一張自己畢業典禮的一張圖，圖中的觀眾席有你啊，只是那張圖，只能永遠是一個夢，一個沒能完成的夢。

小時候是公公婆婆把我們三個小瓜帶大的。我記得小時候，我吃飽飯就會硬要公公載我去外面的雜貨店買冰淇淋，要不然就是去後面的稻田去吹吹風。他會騎著那輛老鐵馬，載著我越過那一格一格的稻田，越過一群群的鵝和小木橋，去離家不遠的“石井雜貨店”買我最愛的橘子口味冰淇淋。有時候炎熱的下午，我會看他全身汗滴滴地從外面回來，也不忘帶我最愛的冰淇淋。

我們最愛到稻田旁的蓄水池抓小蝦子和小魚餌回家為你的大魚。活蹦亂跳的我在一旁看，每次公公撈到一些收穫我就負責把他們放進桶子里好好看守，還會鬧鬧蝦子。夠了我們就大手拉小手地回去，回到家婆婆還要立刻檢查看身上有沒有水蛭，還每次嚇我說水蛭會從屁股鑽進去，所以我會一直跳，想把水蛭“跳掉”，怕水蛭會黏在我身上，然後趁我睡覺時偷偷從我屁股鑽進去。

公公和我的回憶，大部分留在小時候的老鐵馬，抓小蝦，還有公公的好朋友阿富的西瓜園。遺憾的是，隨著我慢慢長大，我們見面相處的時間越來越少。現在的我沒能在他有生之年，回報他對我的養育之恩。

媽媽過幾天在電話中跟我提起了他們在公公家發現了他臨去泰國寫的一張紙條。他說：

先曰：我現在不缺甚麼。孩子們都已經成家立業而且他們都很孝順我覺得自己已經很幸福很滿足所以我不求別的只希望他們幸福順利就好。

怎麼能不叫人心碎？！彷彿他在離開之前就已有預感自己沒能回來。而這席話，就成了他的遺言。我們都很遺憾，我們沒有在你生命的最後一段時刻陪在你身邊。我相信婆婆說的話，說他

走得時候是跟神明一起，是福氣。

我的難過，是擔心你一個人在泰國，會找不到回家的路。
不會的，因為我相信，你會一直在我們身邊，守護這我們，看著我們。我相信，現在的你，已經在一個不需要煩惱人間愁事的地方，跟老嬤團聚。而我們有一天，也會在那裡團聚。

親愛的公公，願您在九泉之下安息。

Maybe?

2011-06-05T17:57:00.002+10:00

It's time for me to return to the blogsphere?

I can't hide forever, can I?

J

The New Chapter

2011-04-15T20:15:00.002+10:00

April is about starting a new season, a new life.
When the winds get stronger and autumn leaves fall, all my sorrows and pain follow,
disappearing into the wind, burying deep into the ground.
I am sure this is a good start.
Being single, is not intimidating any more.

Because from this chapter onwards, I am going to live my life to the fullest,
and be responsible of myself.
Thanks heaps for everyone that had stood by me when I fall.

Love and relationship are meant to compliment each other, not to complicate us.
And love is not about holding tight and suffocate each other,
if you love someone enough, and you know that he'd be happier without you, you learn to let go.
Love is not ownership, love is blessings.

And yes, I would find myself back. The laughing cheerful self I used to be.

Loves,

J

p.s: 祝我們幸福。謝謝一直有你 :)

Hello April!

2011-04-03T22:34:00.001+10:00

*Warning, This Post Contains High Vanity*

Hope everybody passes April Fool's Day safely.
My day was rather peaceful, until that night when I skyped with my beloved Heidi babe,
she told me she was pregnant. I didn't have any second thoughts and started picturing her with a big belly and a baby boy inside, walking alone on the streets of Vienna, helpless.
After chatting for 5 mins when she realised I was actually seriously worried, she went like:
Happy April Fool's Day!

Dang it! I was really worried for you you know! Haha, well I guess its a successful prank, I just believe in people so easily.

Besides that my life has been aweeeeesome!

Being busy as a part of my life, I love doing what I do now, because of all these amazing people around me. I have a supervisor that encourages me so much, classmates that rock med chem together, colleagues that makes the office feel lively and cosy, friends that motivates each other to hit the gym and family that supports me.

Yes, there is nowhere better than where I am now.

Sunday ends.

Well that caption is not true I just made it up so that it sounded emo.

This was actually taken before I went shopping this morning and I was in a hyper mode.

I have been practising my neutral facial expression because my passport is expiring soon,

and it's time for me to get rid of my incredibly ugly passport photo,

and replace it with my perfect neutral photo.

Alright, maybe perfect is a little bit to far,

nice

nice would be enough.

Two hat freaks.

~~Two turban freaks.~~

Check out our turbans, have you got one yet?

Red is so classic LOL

Speaking of turban, I am into it real serious.

I even painted my face black every Sunday. *wink*

Where did all these punjabi fashion come from?

Super cute dress from Forever New.

I wish I was taller because obviously its too long for me.

It even has a cut little pink bow at the back!

Back to the office tommorow!

I heart my hair =B

But the fringe is ugly, I have to do something with it.

And I'll figure it out.

Last picture with my fake hyperness.

It's Monday tomorrow!

Time to look forward and have a great week ahead!

Starting with a nice brekky and a cuppa tomoz!

Love,

兩個人，找到彼此的故事。

2011-04-01T20:49:00.005+11:00

今天，我的一個朋友開心地約了我們一群朋友出來分享他的喜訊：他訂婚了！

他跟我同年紀，可是他這個年尾就要步入結婚禮堂了，真的好替他開心。

別誤會，不是先上車後補票。他和她都是很虔誠的基督教徒，他說這是神的安排吧。
他一直要跟我分享他的求婚故事，因為他說所有的女生都好羨慕她的未婚妻！
我心想說：就憑你？

我的這個朋友，他是澳洲人，他非常瘋狂，非常好動，很愛尖叫，卻又非常愛看書，課餘時間都在讀課本，幾乎不去派對，他的人生目標就是要傳教。他是那種穿襪子還穿拖鞋的人，每次看到他都是穿同一件衣服的人。他絕對是那種你認識他會覺得這個人怎麼過於熱情，覺得他瘋瘋癲癲的，一點也不浪漫，覺得他不會有女朋友的人。

很顯然的，一年前他說他有女朋友的時候，都令我們大家大跌眼鏡了。

記得之前他跟我說過他不愛喝咖啡，而且他的生活過得非常節省（可以一星期都吃麵包的那種），另一個朋友就說，那你怎麼約女生去喝咖啡。他說：我會自己帶我自己的濃縮飲料，點一杯開水，然後自己泡我自己的飲料（省錢）。我會找一個，願意跟我一起這樣做的女生。

（可是今天他說，他還是有戴她去喝咖啡，只是她點咖啡，他點開水）哈！

他們在一起一個月的時候，他自己煮了晚餐，買了3朵玫瑰花，一起看了一部電影。

他們在一起半年的時候，他帶她到山上去看風景野餐。

他，真的真的非常不像一個浪漫的人，可是卻做了許多浪漫的事。

那一天，是他們在一起一周年。他覺得如果在那天求婚的話太明顯了，所以一個星期前他寫了一張紙給他，紙中寫了他要做的一些事，是他為了她準備慶祝一周年需要的：

第一天晚上：穿一些輕鬆的衣服。
第二天早上：一些輕便的衣服，運動鞋，泳衣，要拍很多照片！
第二天晚上：你覺得你穿起來最漂亮的衣服，因為我們要去豪華餐廳吃飯！

在一周年的那個晚上，他送了他3個驚喜：

1.我們一開始約會時我給你的東西：他送了她他們在一起一個月時的一樣的3朵玫瑰花。

2.我們在一起一直給你的東西：他給了他一個吻

3.你一直想要的東西：他送了她一雙直排輪，因為那時她一直想做的事。

他們簡簡單單地過了那一天（溜直排輪），因為他說還有很多驚喜等在後頭呢！他又給了她一張紙寫著明天要做的事：例如帶泳衣，要帶一件漂亮的衣服，運動鞋，等等。

第二天，（又準備了另一個驚喜）他一早帶她去了一家咖啡館吃早餐（他說：因為你很愛早餐），要她在外面等，走進去，抱著一束橘黃色的花出來了，因為他說她就好像太陽一樣，每天照亮他的生命。（她過後說這個時刻是她最感動的時刻）

過後好玩的事來了，他戴她去了瀑布，他們需要有點類似攀岩地才到達谷底，然後一起游泳，然後就一直趕行程，去海邊等等的戶外活動。拍了一大堆的照片。午餐的時候去海邊限定好的餐廳吃飯，又抱了一束紫色的水仙（他說：因為這是你最愛的顏色）他跟她說晚上要帶她去吃一家很豪華的餐廳，所以5點必須離開。在開車去的途中，電話響了，他在開車所以要她聽。結果接了電話的她露出了失望的眼神，她說餐廳打來說訂位取消，因為他們有一場婚禮要辦。他有點生氣地說怎麼可以這樣，她也覺得很失望。他問她說那，現在怎麼辦，要不然我送你回家？她說：不！我想要繼續跟你晃晃。他說：那，不然我們回去我們以前去看風景野餐的山上好了。(其實餐廳取消是他安排的。）

開車途中，他說：其實我有些話想跟你說，這個問題困擾了我很久，我覺得我們要在一次的話這個問題就得解決。

到了山上，他說：妳是一個很漂亮的女生，很完美，我也覺得我們在一起很開心很好，可是，有一樣東西困擾了我很久，讓我一直覺得很懊惱，我覺得這是我們在一起最大的問題--------

就是你的姓氏。可是我可以改變它！

（我覺得這個求婚方式好可愛好漂亮，讓他想到我真的很佩服）

於是他單腳下跪，拿出了那個他自己設計的戒指，問了她那個聖神的問題。

過後，他還帶她去了他一早要朋友安排好的戶外晚餐，少不了的是蠟燭和她最愛的紫色水仙花啦！

這是一個漂亮的故事，不是嗎？

我對於他用心的付出覺得很感動，這是你真正愛一個人的時候才會做的事吧。聽完這段故事後，我真的需要鄭重地向之前懷疑他的態度說抱歉，哈哈。因為他所做的每一件事，背後都有漂亮的意義，不管是紀念他們在一起也好，或者是女生最愛的東西也好。他的用心，是為了讓他的未婚妻可以有個漂亮的故事。

他跟我們說：其實女生要的不過是一些好聽的話，不是阿諛奉承，不是假惺惺的甜言蜜語，只是，把你要說的話修飾一點，雕刻得漂亮一點，再說，出來的效果是不一樣的。

我們說：這世界上，真的需要多一點像你這樣子的人。

雖然我不是基督教徒，可是我卻很認同他跟我說的一句話：

他說婚姻是神的安排，是要我身為一個丈夫好好去愛我的妻子和家庭，而我的妻子需要做的是配合我的愛與付出，兩人協力維持這段婚姻，這樣子家庭才會幸福。

他說男生是比較實際的動物，他們喜歡實際去行動，去做，他們不會去想浪漫的事，或者細膩的內心世界。而女生確是恰恰相反，他們注重內心的感受，他們喜歡聽覺上心靈上的滿足。

如果男生可以盡量修飾想表達的言語，而女生可以多參與與陪伴男生的行動，那世界應該就和平多了。就像他們一樣，他願意為她付出多一點心思，她也願意陪他一起上山下海，可以找到一個永遠在一起的人，真的好幸福。

恭喜啦，Seth & Kate!

Earth Hour

2011-03-26T22:18:00.002+11:00

I had my lights off,

Have you?

Switched off everything in the house for an hour.
Don't know if we are actually creating more pollution.
But then, we are saving power right?
Guess its the awareness that counts.

Candles will take over the role.

Lia lighting up the candles, both of us were super excited.

I looked like a hollow woman there.

Risked to light up the carpeted staircase.

I'm glad we didn't burn down our house after one hour.

SAFE.

Play your part today.

Switch off your lights at 8.30pm for an hour.

I love you earth.

xox

繁忙的心情日記

2011-03-25T21:24:00.000+11:00

連續下了幾天的雨，連臥龍崗也有一點淹水了。看來地球真的生病了。

下雨天陰陰的，讓人的心情也跟著灰了起來。

大雨大在門上，模糊了外面的世界，原本那片漂亮的藍色大海，再也看不見了。

是否，我的心也被蒙上了一層大大的霧？

是否，我也在尋找那片曾經屬於我的藍藍大海？

第三天的雨，沒有小過。

一直不停地下，不停地下。

下到香蕉也變貴了。回來到現在真的一根香蕉也沒吃到。

讓我回去馬來西亞把香蕉吃個夠！

陪伴我的，只有我的書桌。

最近看電腦看多了，眼睛佈滿血絲，

很乾很乾。

或許是澳洲天氣太乾旱了吧，以整個人就是很乾，

喉嚨，鼻子，眼睛，嘴唇，皮膚，

一個字-乾！

我要回去那片潮濕的土地！

終於，雨過天晴。

最近很早起，早到可以看到日出。

生活很有規律，原來壓力可以使一個人便正常。

現在沒有上課，沒有時間表，沒有限制，

卻因為太自由，所以自己心裡變得規律了起來。

害怕，害怕如果沒有早點起來做些什麼會浪費時間。

臥龍崗是個漂亮的地方。每天從窗口望出去，

看到那片海，還有太陽，

會讓我不自覺笑了起來，

會讓我充滿朝氣！

不知道什麼時候開始，習慣自然，

頭髮隨便扎一扎，眼睛戴上就走。

這是考試前的我。

我已經早睡早起了，黑眼圈似乎重來沒有離開，

拜託，去找那些早上才睡的人好嗎？

最近才真正體會到什麼叫累。

累到眼睛時常睜不開來，

累到呼吸也要用很大的力氣，

累到有時候想念一個人，也沒有勇氣。

不再去強迫相對的思念，

是我這幾個下雨天，做了很多家務時悟出來的道理。

不用執著，放手讓它去。

很累，因為有兩萬字下個月要交。

很累，因為要策劃實驗，實行實驗，再接受失敗的實驗。

很累，因為在寫兩萬字之前，我首先要讀兩百份紙。

很累，因為每個月要考試。

很累，因為最近愛上了運動讓自己累。

很累，因為不管多累，還是要充滿朝氣地去教一群化學新生。

很累，因為最近又答應了當物理家教。

哈，所以我現在要重讀我的物理，才發現物理真的很無聊。

不管再累，心總是會牽掛着家，牽掛著遙遠的他。

雖然累，可是卻覺得很充實。

因為我在邁著我的目標前進。

要努力之餘，也要賺錢。

就好像今天很早很早起，天剛破曉，

看見太陽慢慢地從水平線升起，

看見天上的星星逐漸消失，

我知道這些是循環，都會過去。

希望和夢想會慢慢實現，

所有的疲勞，累和埋怨會慢慢不見。

最後，請叫我鬍子性感尤物！

對，我是瘋子。

【轉載】一人一半才是「伴」by 王偉忠

2011-03-21T15:26:00.000+11:00

【轉載】

一人一半才是「伴」

文╱王偉忠

陶子重義氣，她要我做什麼，我就做什麼。她要我談一談婚姻感情，就談吧！反正我也到了開口說話會帶點道理，但年輕人聽不進去的年齡。

我跟太太戀愛八年結婚，婚後十七年，總共認識了二十五年。這麼長的時間日夜相伴，身旁偶爾沒有她，感覺很爽，倘若此後一輩子沒有她，萬萬不可。

像前一陣子看到一則意見調查，問年輕女孩，家人、父母、孩子、老公與事業，如果硬要抉擇，會先放棄哪個？

女孩選了選，先放棄了事業，然後家人、父母，剩下老公與孩子難以抉擇，最後選擇放棄孩子、留下老公，理由是家人、父母、孩子最終都會離開身邊，但老公會是終身伴侶。很殘酷、但也很真實。

中國字的寓意深遠，「伴」，就是一人一半，湊在一起才完整。

現今許多人適婚卻不婚，老人家看了奇怪，過去從沒發生過類似狀況。這現象代表五、六十年來沒有戰亂、年輕人長大過程中享有家庭溫暖與親情支援，因此認為單身也能過得很好，不論敗犬或是單身貴族，不覺得非要個伴，是歷史上首度可以一個人過日子的平安歲月。衰老未至，沒有歲月的壓力，等年齡到了，開始覺得孤獨、害怕孤獨，想找個人分享，還是需要個伴。

若要進入婚姻，套一句不負責任的老生常談，要靠緣份，除了緣份以及感性的感覺，還要理性的選擇。婚姻確實需要理性，如果女兒論及婚嫁，我一定要求要看看對方家庭，什麼樣的家庭會養出什麼樣的孩子，當然，也有破碎家庭的孩子更努力維繫自己的幸福家庭，但一定要仔細觀察。

而另一個老生常談就是婚姻需要兩個人有相同的價值觀，但這不是說「我喜歡的你一定要喜歡」，而是「我不討厭你喜歡的」，就可以了，兩人可妥協，可退讓，願意試著接觸自己本來討厭的，看看是否真那麼不能接受，有這樣願意妥協的心情，比較容易維繫感情。

而婚姻與愛情最大的不同，在於願不願意改變。願意為了對方改變自己，是真愛，從頭到尾都不想改變自己，這段感情充其量只是對方愛你。

戀愛是短暫的交會後很想在一起而開始，很想閃的結束。開始時乾柴烈火，講究原汁原味，眼前的他什麼都好，是全天下最酷的、最美的，不需要改，但等到愛情疲了，才發現這人酷到不近人情、美得過於臭美、連刺青的位置不對，趕緊推給個性不合閃人。因此戀愛講究的是如何好聚好散

進入婚姻，當然還是會有許多衝突，學習重點是「相處的藝術」。男生該學的第一課就是上廁所必須掀馬桶蓋，一開始改變很不習慣，後來融入身體，像吃飯喝水一樣自然。

但最近老婆說不只要掀蓋子，尿完還希望我拿衛生紙擦擦馬桶周圍留下來的「遺跡」，按照過去的脾氣，一定就「老子愛….」，但現在的我會聽太太的意見，因為「愛」字裡有個心，不是光用腦想著該送什麼禮物給她，要用心。

太太也改變不少，她不喜歡戶外活動，婚前知道我愛潛水、跟著背起十幾公斤重的空氣瓶跳進海底求生，這麼愛美的她怕晒黑、塗防晒油塗滿臉，一回頭、嚇一跳，怎麼來了個歌仔戲花旦跟我一起玩。

婚後我又想潛水，她就說「不必了」，理由是家裡有孩子，不宜從事太危險的活動。

以前一個人在台北發展，要自己照顧自己，還要爭名奪利，不自私很難在短時間之內成就自己。結婚之後學著喊太太的媽媽「媽！」，有食物，不能先放進自己嘴巴，要顧著妻小先吃。我開始懂得心疼與珍惜，因為太太很好，捨不得讓她不舒服、捨不得讓她傷心，這些捨不得讓我自然學會了讓、學會了愛，也自然的改變自己，從自私變成大方。

婚姻的路是每天類似的風景，同樣的過程、淡淡的，要相處得好，真得靠慧根，所以找對象不能光想找個腿長奶大的辣妹，或是像金城武的帥哥，要找個讓自己想起他來心裡甜甜的，回頭一看，那人就在燈火闌珊處，這就是最好的對象。

而所謂另一半，也不是一開始就契合，是在修正中不斷的磨合，你多一點我少一點，像拼圖一樣拼在一起，才能一起過一輩子。

當然，歲月無情，人生最終還是分離。像我媽媽十六歲嫁給爸爸，相守相愛了一輩子，爸爸十多年前過世之後，媽媽真像少了一半，常凝望遠方，像爸爸就在天的那一邊，令人感傷。但人生如果少了婚姻、少了隨之而來的酸甜苦辣生老病死，少了孩子延續家的價值與感情，真會少掉很多滋味。

幸福沒有捷徑，只有經營

2011-03-20T19:57:00.001+11:00

聽了范范《最重要的決定》裡的歌詞，真的被感動到了。
彷彿進入了那首歌的意境，感受到終於可以跟她愛的人一輩子的那種幸福。

在馬來西亞保守的社會裡，很少很少可以看到老夫老妻很恩愛地在一起。
上上一代，甚至上一代，似乎都很含蓄，不善於表達愛意；有誰會真的聽到爺爺奶奶在說我愛你，看到爸爸媽媽摟摟抱抱？可是，這並不代表他們不愛。他們是細水長流的愛，不說出口，卻以行動來表示的愛。很多老一輩的情人，並沒有浪漫的邂逅，也沒有轟轟烈烈的戀愛，很多，都只是相親一次就結婚的夫妻，可是他們卻能長廂廝守，換著是我們，做得到嗎？或許他們知道，他們這一輩子注定要跟這個人在一起，他們的選擇只有幸福地走下去，或者不理不睬一輩子。

很慶幸年輕的一代漸漸勇於表達自己的感受，畢竟，愛就是要勇敢說出來！然而，橫衝直撞的我們有時候卻不懂得真正去愛。有的人覺得，愛就是什麼都要聽我說，愛就是你要隨時在我身邊，愛就是看你買什麼禮物送我。現在很多年輕人，不懂得天長地久。我們的愛情經歷不起考驗和風浪，我們在面對一點點挫折的時候就想要分手，我們都在為自己著想，我們覺得自己比誰都還要重要。

有一些人很輕易地就開始一段感情，走入一段婚姻。大家都抱著躍躍一試的態度，不合大不了分手，劈腿大不了離婚嘛。對，離開了一個不適合自己的人，或者抽離一段不幸福的婚姻，當然是正確的決定。只是，在離開過後，才發現自己已經遍體鱗傷；有個朋友，在結婚前發現未婚夫劈腿，讓她決定從此不再談戀愛，從此不再相信愛情。原本為了愛付出的一切，得來的回報，只是沒辦法衡量的傷害。是不是在決定要跟另一個人在一起時，就要一起努力地走向幸福？

就好像范范唱的：因為幸福沒有捷徑，只有經營。

記得在網路上曾經聽過這樣的一句話：與其不斷地去找一顆最閃耀的鑽石，倒不如把手上的這顆石頭好好磨亮。是的，與其一直抱著騎驢找馬的態度，不如好好地經營現在的這段感情；因為不是每個人都那麼幸運可以撿到鑽石，就算撿到了鑽石，你能確保你擁有它比擁有石頭還要快樂嗎？

我相信愛情可以天長地久，也相信兩個人真的可以白頭到老。在澳洲的這些日子以來，我看過了好多好多老夫老妻。他們儘管白髮斑斑了也牽著手一起搭巴士，就算有個人拿著拐杖搖搖欲墜，另一個人仍然緊握他的手，互相扶持。這是多麼令人感動的一面啊！我時常跟自己說，我只想要嫁給一個，我老了還會願意牽著我的手走的人。因為一個人就算有再多財富，再多地位，再多學歷，到老了病了要死了，那一些身外物，又能帶給你什麼？真正的快樂，是發自內心的快樂，是有人可以一起分享的快樂。

最近看見很多人結婚的喜訊，心裡真的替他們開心，也祝福他們幸福。真的，在68億人當中，找到一個願意愛你，願意下半輩子跟你一起生活，願意和你生兒育女，願意從此跟你共享福共患難的人，實在不容易。有個人曾經跟我說過：愛你的人，就是會為你想的人。想想每天早上睡醒有個人在你身邊，可以等著你愛的人回家，兩個人一起努力創造未來。很累很難過的時候有的人在身邊一起加油打氣，真的不需要什麼轟轟烈烈浪漫的情節，這些簡簡單單的日子，才是幸福。或許我的想法天真，或許我沒有考慮到現實的一面，或許這世界上只有少數人這樣想。可是我願意相信，因為只有相信，心裡才會有一個信念去做。做了，才會真正感受到幸福。

有的人，像空氣一樣，有它的時候，你不會覺得有什麼不一樣；沒有他的時候，你才會了解到你不能失去他。所有人都覺得呼吸是理所當然的事，卻不知道，這世界上有多少人在生死邊緣掙扎著，有多少人，還沒來得及體驗呼吸就離開這個世界。最近發生種種的天災人禍，才發現，生命真的好脆弱。別再浪費時間了，在你還有呼吸的時候，好好去珍惜你的空氣吧！

這，是一首歌引發我想到的事。

J

台灣。冬天。Day 1 & 2

2011-03-13T00:15:00.000+11:00

As I promised, updates on my Taiwan trip after 2 months lol.

Our journey kicked off with the flight from Pen-Kul one day before and heaps thanks to obc & his friends to come fetch us, bring us around, and let us squeeze in his crib. Apparently he cleaned the house because we were coming, hah, maybe I should visit more so that your house is always tidy and neat!

So the next day S and I took off with Air Asia and started our journey! Still talk like nobody's business in the plane, and a weird man just kept looking at us, and when we were waiting for the door to open, we kinda had eye contact, and started our weird conversation.

Him : Are you both musicians? Cause I think your gestures when you talk is very nice and elegant. (Strong taiwanese mandarin accent)
Me and Shin : =.=" (We both talked like how those people would talk when they are in the market trying to bargain)
Me: Errrrr..... I learned piano???
Him: Oh, That's why! So you both Malaysian? Where do you live? Coming for a trip? bla bla bla bla
Me: (Being polite responded to his questions) So.. you are taiwanese (with my fake strong taiwanese accent)
Him: Oh no, I am Malaysian, I am from (dont remember), I am a musician, I have a workshop here...
Me: Ohhhh....

(People started to move, so both of us just grab our bags and leave without saying goodbye, which now I think is quite rude.) But the problem is, how do we end this conversation? Even I said good bye at that moment, we are still going to walk on the same aisle towards the door, then if I said goodbye after we left the plane, we might still bump into each other when we are waiting for our luggage, imagine how awkward would that be, shall we say hi or what. LOL anyways I don't really care of him that much because I just wanted to leave the airport and see my bf so badly.

So finally I saw him, all that excitement and weirdness seeing each other at a place that we have never thought of. Max and him came to pick us up, then we went for dinner with his family and then Miramar (美麗華）.

We both looked like shit after getting of the plane. Bad hair, oily face, no make up, and the weather is super cold. Well, and we both looked like shit for the days after because it was too cold for us to leave our down jackets.

Day 2- On the Metro.

Heading to the National Palace Musuem (故宮） and it was raining. The season when we went is the coldest season of winter in 20+ years in Taiwan, and it RAINED everyday. Before we went we were like : Gosh we have to bring a lot of clothes, take a lot of nice pictures, (u know how hard is it to be pretty during a trip because the lack of equipment like curling tongs and matching clothes, shoes, bags, accessories etc because we were both cheapskates we only pay for 15 kg baggage allowance). And PLAN FAILED, it was so cold and rainy that if we were to were our normal jacket we had to wear so many layers inside it's so heavy by the end of the day our whole body aches, so we prefer to just wear a top and the same old down jacket for the rest of our trip. We are just not those girls would that rather be pretty and cold to death than ugly and comfy.

Got off at Shilin station and took a bus to the musuem.

Destination!

The outside of the musuem.

We were not allowed to take pics inside so we just took pic with whatever it is outside.

DON'T GO ON MONDAYS! The garden was closed :(

I wouldn't say visiting the musuem is not fun but after hours and hours of looking at the old things we both got really tired. Well I think the jade cabbage and meat were really impressive. Other than that I don't really remember lol.

And guess what? We were so tired but as soon as we arrived at the metro station, we shopped in some random shops for hours and hours, got so excited and happy after spending money, and it's time for the bf to feel really tired because we starved him. : D

So after telling him the 7th time that "Baby don't worry we are going for dinner soon", we finally headed to the Shilin Night Market to hunt for food!

I think it is 豪大大，雞排but shin thinks it is 豪大，大雞排.

As what the name says, it is a super huge chicken chop, finally something is ~~bigger than~~ as big as my face!

Tasted very good! ✰✰✰✰✰

The queue behind for the chicken chop.

Everyone get to do one signature pose with the food.

臭豆腐！It was our first try! When I went to the market I kept thinking why it smells like toilet or those congested drain? Then I realised it's the smell of this thing.

Still ate it anyway. It tasted OK but it's like eating some junk from the toilet. ✰

Happier with our 蚵仔煎. Although I still think the malaysian version with hot chili sauce is nicer. Their sauce is sweet. But they have fresh and nice oyster. ✰✰

大腸包小腸. Direct translation : big intestine wraps small intestine. ✰

Big Intestine: Sausage like with glutinous rice in it.

Small intestine: Sausage.

And you cut along the "big intestine" and stuff a sausage in.

They looked really tempting and yummy but OIL, FAT, CALORIES just popped out of my head.

牛舌餅. Very thin piece of biscuit with something sweet inside, maybe yam.

Which I think is really yummy :) ✰✰✰✰✰

Still hungry we opted for 阿宗麵線. Its mee sua with oyster soup, and the soup base is sour-ish, which I quite likey too :) ✰✰✰

BUT, the best thing is........................

TADAAA!

Honey and Bitter Gourd JUICE!!!!

My favourite of that night!!!

Give it 6 stars!

✰✰✰✰✰✰

That's my first stop in Taiwan, hopefully more posts will be coming up ;)

p/s: Pray for Japan, Pray for the World.

It is not as bad as I thought

2011-03-08T22:23:00.000+11:00

I came up with this motivation to update my blog when I don't really have much things to say. My life is just a routine, sleeping at 11.30pm and wake up at 7.30am now sounds really reasonable to me. At least I have eight hours of sleep. I have not been very keen to do honours from the start, if its not for the sake of a better job opportunity and scholarship opportunity, I will definitely bail, like some other friends, whom now happily doing his bible studies and preaching, and she is working hard while studying for the GAMSAT enrty test to masters in pharmacy. And then I thought, at least they have some other goals to achieve, but me? So I guess sticking back to doing honours isn't that bad.

I have been trying really hard to do a lot of readings, despite planning for my lab works, which is how research works. It requires a lot of self-discipline and time management, but there seems to be endless things to do. The only resting time to look forward to is our lunch break, which is shorter and shorter everyday(decreasing from an hour to 20 minutes). All of us were just talking about our experiments, if we have started our 20 pages introduction, our directed studies assignment, and we will end our conversation in the same way: I have to get back to my office now I have so much work to do. Everybody just have infinity workloads.

Stressful moment is either before seeing the supervisor, where I have to do so many preparation to present him what I have done, what had gone wrong, what should we do next; or after seeing the supervisors realising there is so much yet to be done, there are so many things that I don't know, and sometimes I don't really get what he is saying. Being around with all native speakers now really intimidates me, my tongue just twist and my brain just couldn't bring the correct grammatical information to me.

But, doing honours felt real to me. Felt so real that I am actually studying in Australia because almost every single person that I encounter and talk to everyday is local. Yeah after 4 years I am finally in the local community lol. Anyways it is a brand new experience to me, and I am just glad I have a motivation to achieve my goal, hopefully I'll make mum and dad proud when they come in December! Can't wait!

Enough of lengthy boring words, peeps into what I'm doing.

Vain me in my office.

One of the instruments I used, bored of waiting so, vain me in the lab.

All that dangerous wirings, everything looks like it can explode.

Last, ~~vain~~ tired me when I got home.

I was so tired yesterday because I went out early morning and I started my study group coordinator job at night. At the end I got home about 9 and I was too tired to fake a smile.

love,

轉載：分居兩地的愛戀，才是最真的

2011-03-03T22:10:00.000+11:00

一定有許多人不同意，畢竟分隔兩地，不能照顧依偎著對方，心裏的失落總是有的罷。

但是異地戀的人確實是幸福的，比任何人都幸福。

兩個人能整天膩在一起，固然很幸福，他們很少會寂寞，但是也很少有綿長的思念。思念本身就是一種最大的幸福，記得自來也大人曾經對名人說，思念你的人就是你的歸處。

擁有異地戀的人是幸運的，因為你擁有了一個願意和你一起堅持努力的人，你擁有了一顆能和你有著相同執著和夢想的心，你擁有了一份強烈到有勇氣挑戰可惡的距離的愛，這難道不是一種幸福嗎？

每當一個人靜靜的時候，想到有一個人和你一樣在堅守這如此脆弱的愛情，那種溫暖，不是異地戀的人是無法體會的，那是一種心靈無聲的溝通，是無條件的信賴。茫茫人海中，能找到這樣一個無條件信賴自己的人，這難道不是一種幸福嗎？

兩個人常常在一起，難免會大意，他們常常會一起吃飯，一起逛街，一起上課，但是卻常常忽略了心靈上的溝通。對於一份真正的愛情，溝通才是最重要的，它能保持愛情的新鮮感，能讓對方瞭解現在愛著的是怎樣的一個人。只有瞭解了對方，愛情裏才不會有誤解，才不會有錯失了的愛情。所以，異地戀的人有了愛情的優勢，他們很久都見不了面，有了心事，有了難過就在電話裏傾訴，他們的每一次交談都相當於一次交心，因為彼此都能瞭解對方的想念，所以，在他們之間很少有了誤會，彼此都懂得了諒解，懂得了寬容。這難道不是一種幸福嗎？

甜言蜜語也算的愛情的潤滑劑吧，沒有一對戀人可以有像異地戀人那樣擁有繁多的機會說甜言蜜語，每次電話裏，總是無意中會說一些“想你”“等你”“愛你”，即使話不多的人也一樣會說，因為彼此愛著，因為目前只有“語言”這樣一種工具可以表達自己的心情，因為愛的表達，其實都單一。所以，能堅持異地戀的人都是深切的愛著的，這樣的愛在時間的河流裏平淡卻激烈，我想這是所有人都會羡慕的愛。擁有著這樣的愛的你，難道不幸福嗎？

在愛情裏我最不怕的就是距離，只要真正愛著，終歸是能在一起。是啊，距離在那麼深切的愛裏算什麼？什麼也不是。如果你們因為異地戀就輕易分手了，千萬不要把罪過怪在距離上，你應該慶倖，自己離開了的一個並不真正愛你的人，因為在愛的面前，距離真的什麼也不是。所以,如果你的愛人也在遙遠的地方，不要覺得寂寞，不要覺得委屈，要慶倖，你用寂寞和思念換來了一份真正的愛，那是別人求之不得的愛。

如果你們在一個班，

一起自習，

一起上課下課，

一起泡茶一起記筆記，

離開一秒也無所謂，

還有下一秒；

如果你們在一個學校，

可以一起去圖書館，

一起去電影院，

一起進學生餐廳一起看星星看月亮，

一起運動一起手牽手漫步在校園，

一天不見，

至少還有明天，

至少還可以一起畢業；

如果僅僅在一個城市，

也還可以

一起逛街，

一起吃冰一起玩電玩，

一起坐公車一起乘電梯，

可以一起想起城市某家小店某個好玩的去處，

一個星期不見也會想念，

畢竟不是每個星期都有空，

每個節日都放假；

可是，有些人一刻不曾想念。

不思量，自難忘。

不敢想念，因為不敢忘記。

可是可是，

有些手很久很久沒有辦法牽，

有些依依不捨吻只能對著電話……

下雨啦，有沒有人給她撐傘；

碗裏有他最喜歡吃的肉才想起來不能夾給他；

夜裏醒了，因為夢到她的身邊有另一個他給披衣服；

逛街腳疼了，那個心疼的人不再提醒說，回家吧；

學習累了，想捏捏她的肉肉的臉告訴她，其實你不用減肥，一點不胖；

有了古怪的點子，留著忍著，打電話時告訴他，然後聽他說，好，下次我們見面時一起……

下次，下次有多久？

一個人裹緊大衣一個人吹吹風，

一個人承受另一個的理想，

一個人奮鬥為一個人的承諾，

一個人左手握右手，

一個人堅強一個人守著信仰，

一個人等著，等著一句話：下次見面時一起！

“距離是一份考卷，測量相愛的誓言，最後會不會實現。

我們為愛還在學溝通的語言，學著諒解學著不流淚，

等到我們學會飛，飛越黑夜和考驗，日子就要從孤單裏畢業，

我們用多一點點的辛苦，來交換多一點點的幸福。”

願那些在不同的地方讀書，不同的地方工作的戀人未來幸福.
有時候
愛情…在指縫間承諾指縫….在愛情下交纏

不在一起很小的一件事情也會變的天旋地轉
不在一起每天抱著電話等待那一個電話或者一條簡訊，在那中間享受一點幸福
不在一起千萬不要輕易生氣，否則會比在一起處理起來麻煩上千倍上萬倍
不在一起假如你生氣了請你好好傾聽，心平氣和，相信會有人為你著急
不在一起假如他（她）生氣了，不要去解釋，說些“好聽的”，因為那些比"解釋"靈
不在一起多為彼此著想，站在對方的立場考慮事情，畢竟誰也看不到誰
不在一起..

在一起時用心去看著他(她)的眼睛，記住那個愛你的模樣
在一起時用心去拉著他(她)的手，那是一種溫度.
在一起時用心去珍惜屬於你們的時光
在一起時 ......
異地戀，請深愛！

I'm back!

2011-02-27T23:06:00.000+11:00

Yes, I am finally back to a normal entry after all those 'thoughts' entries.

Uni started last wed and I am feeling the pressure already!

I'm doing my honours which is my final year, after years and years and years finally this year comes.

Although I am still in a pretty 'blank' situation, I dunno what to do yet!

I guess I need some time to adapt to research again after my long break.

My life is basically 9 to 5 now, which means I have to get up really early, and go into my office and spend the rest of my day reading, doing lab work, sending emails, writing up my essay.

Sounds really boring, I hope this year passes quick!

My dearies have all left me so I am so alone in the gong, I even ditched shopping (went to the mall the other day but dreaded to go home after10 minutes). SO guess its a year for me to concentrate better on my studies, and hopefully I can graduate with the best result.

I think I am fat and ugly these days so I even dreaded taking pichas! I don't care about what I wear, how my hair looks and don't even bother if my shoes were matching my clothes. OMG what have I turned into?! Perhaps because there is no one to camwhore with me so I.. I just couldn't do it myself anymore.. (runaway crying)

I think I should really live a normal life again, and be the vain self again.

To the vain me, I am looking forward to your return.

Love,

The nerdy Jo

情歌

2011-02-26T00:36:00.001+11:00

今天一個人搭巴士回家途中

耳機裡又傳出這首歌的旋律

它一直都在我的ipod裡

可是我卻從來沒有太認真聽

記得我第一次認認真真去體會歌詞的時候

是兩個月前我剛回家的時候

那個瞬間

淚流個不停

它，不就在說我們的故事嗎？

你寫給我我的第一首歌

你和我十指緊扣默寫前奏

可是呢然後呢

這幾天回到這個熟悉的地方

空氣中彷彿還瀰漫著你的氣息

彷彿你還會一如往常地從圖書館裡走出來

彷彿一直有你的陪伴

彷彿你從不曾離開

原來你從不曾離開的

是我的心

♥

Girls....

2011-02-21T01:16:00.000+11:00

Sometimes, what is right and what you want is different.

Would you choose to listen to your mind, or your heart?

I choose to listen to my heart.

I choose what I deeply want.

Do it, and not regret later.

To the paths that lay all ahead of me

I close my eyes, and listen to my heart,

for the road I choose, is the road that leads me to happiness.

if i ain't got you

2011-02-14T16:03:00.002+11:00

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you baby

If I ain't got you baby

If only I could tie myself to the balloons

and let them send me to where love is

i know they would finally lead me to you

If only I could pack all my love for you

and send all of them to you in a mail

you'll know how much i am missing you

If only the crystal ball could bring us back

to all those moments that we would never forget

to how we find each other on the first day we met

If only photographs keep not only the places and people

but all the love and feelings at that moment

I would live in our photograph forever

If only this would come true.

Happy Valentine's dear.

[11:58:52 AM] iamallen57: 情人節快樂((inlove))
[11:59:03 AM] iamallen57: 我不在身邊的情人
[11:59:43 AM] Jo Ann Seng: happy valentine's day baby :*
[12:00:09 PM] Jo Ann Seng: 人不在你身边可是心一直都在❤

2011

2011-02-09T00:04:00.000+11:00

A very belated happy new year to everyone!

I've been away last month for an amazing trip :)

Stay tuned.

Updates coming as soon as I finish sorting out the pictures.

love,

Lonely Christmas?

2010-12-25T05:38:00.000+11:00

I thought I was lonely until I realized I was wrong,

because I always have you in my heart.

Merry Christmas.

xoxo

有一些幸福

2010-12-23T03:38:00.001+11:00

有一些幸福，就算隔著熒幕和耳機，越過三千多公里，

還是那麼地觸動心底。

對，幸福就是可以看著熒幕上的你，聽聽耳機裡傳來你熟悉的聲音，

然後發現，你依然是你。

我們依然是我們

: )

Christmas Tree Decoration Dinner

2010-12-02T01:35:00.000+11:00

Since I had a two hours nap this afternoon, I am barely sleepy at 1am, and I have a day off tommorow! So I can just sleeeeep in as much as I want.. Yeppie, since I have to work everyday it has been ages since I last slept in :(

Last Saturday, Thidarat, who is my ex-boss, invited our family to their place for their christmas tree decoration dinner, which they hold every year as a family tradition because they themselves are too lazy to decorate the tree! And since we have never spent a proper christmas, we have decided to see what its like!

Had Tapas platter as starter.

The 'Before' Xmas tree.

We have to use this to perform our magic.

Its our first time to decorate a xmas tree and we were all excited!

The theme was red and gold :)

Very serious, no joke man.

Tadaa, our almost done xmas tree :)

We were all rewarded with Thidarat's amazing home cooking.

Thidarat's daughter.

She wants me to play piano for her.

The piano is over 100 years old! I really liked that chair.

And the little chamber is cosy and nice.

After dinner, we get to choose a special ornament each and hang onto the tree.

The final step of the tree deco, place the star on top of the tree!

And then, it's time to turn on the lights and wait for xmas!!!

It was a great occasion as we get to taste Thidarat's cooking and get involved with some pre-xmas preparation. And her kids are cute! Make me wana marry angmoh, lol. Hopefully will have more chance to actually celebrate xmas, instead of celebrating it like Valentines in most of the asian countries.

Ciao.

TWENTY ONE

2010-11-30T21:34:00.000+11:00

Right my blog is so dead, thanks to exams, moving, party, falling sick, and work.
Was so busy right after my exams as I had to pack all my stuff and move into my new apartment, then I gotta prepare for my bday party and get drunk. I had a really great time celebrating my 21st!! except that I am still anticipating for some yet to come presents. *ahem* you guys better be fast. LOL.

Some pichas from my drunk twenty-one.

Best mates :)

Everyone just wana make me drunk.

Yay, pressie from Susan.

By the time I was making a wish I was bloody drunk. I had like 8 shots of tequilla =.=

And guess I was wishing something real hard, but I don't remember my wishes. LOL.

Had a great time with all of ya!

And I kept falling onto the floor. Haha.

Had sucha great and busy time for the start of my holidays, and baybee took me to Sydney to celebrate our little birthday celebration again :) It has been months since we last went out for a date! I cherish every precious moment of it :)

My fav Korean Restaurant in Sydney just because they have this very nice couch. And very yummy potato noodles.

Darling Harbour with Sydney Tower behind.

We watched Harry Potter 7 too! Baby thinks its really boring because he hasn't read the book! It was fab to me though, I teared when Dobby died :( I have read the books over and over like three or four times and still not getting bored because I always forget the story!

We then decided to go to Hurricane's Grill for dinner as they are really famous for their ribs and steaks! We waited an hour for a table on Tuesday!

We have got a table on the balcony, overlooking the stunning night view of Darling Harbour.

Here comes our FOOD! It's masssssive!

He had rump steak and I had beef ribs, but I saw many people had pork ribs, should give that a try nextime.

The waitress had my baby napkin around me.

Then we went to meet up with the gang for my long-time-no-karaoke session.

My loves.

Was super duper tired at that time.

Had some crazy moments shouting stupid songs, playing dices and telling lame jokes. Thats what makes us together. Got home so late that night!

Well, the fun week is over and I am now back to work, gotta get up at 8am everyday which is a pain in my arse. How much I wish I could just sleep in and hang around doing nothing. But I appreciate myself having a job. At least I get to spend my own money since the $$$ in my bank is running low!

Oh yeah, results are out! I am really happy I think its the best results I have ever had in my whole three years! I guess its because I studied really hard this session and its worth it! Not too late to realize after three years! And met with the sub dean together and finally changed my degree to an advanced degree. Yeppie!

Still have a few posts pending. Stay tuned!

十一月！

2010-11-04T22:32:00.001+11:00

步入十一月的第4天。天啊？怎麼時間咻一聲就這樣過去了？感覺才剛剛過完年，現在竟然就快結束了。小時候等到頸項都長了才等到年尾的大放假，現在時間就默默地飛逝，唉，我不想長大。還有十六天我就要轉21啦！天啊，再也不能很放肆地說：我只有20！了。囧，人家說女大十八變，什麼吾家有女初長成，怎麼我是女大十八胖？吾家有女已長胖？考完試要來認真減肥了（一零肯定說這句話從跟我在一起聽到現在，怎麼只有越變越胖？），怎麼可以在短短7個月裡胖了快7公斤？

好了，算了，體重再講也不會下降，那來說說近況好了。最近的日子非常制式化，7點起床，8點去圖書館，5點回家，12點睡覺。就這樣過了快一個星期吧。

週末等公車，至少要等半小時吧，人家免費服務，也不能說什麼。
harem + oxford 我的最愛！

考試時候最豐盛的是餐蛋面，泡麵泡麵泡麵！

一整個星期都是下雨天，天氣冷，回宿舍的路很愛淹水，一年交那麼多錢，修一下會死啊！

可是海鷗們太開心，都跑來游泳了。

去學校偷拍鄭穎欣上廁所。

最愛戴做作的眼鏡了。

唸書念到無聊時，可以嗅一嗅熒光筆。

或者很不爽地自拍，然後發現後面有鬼。

看我們的糧食庫。最近一直下雨，也不能去超市，而且唸書念那麼晚也去不了了。唉，看來只好吃豆腐加番茄醬了。

昨天回家吃很可憐的晚餐之後還跑去ic的圖書館唸書，看我們多用功！可惜只念了一個小時就關門了 :(

發現我最近的照片就只有鄭穎欣了嗎？

我也好久好久沒好好見到我的郭一零了，考試時間我們只好各自閉關，想你啊，考試快過！

郭一零之我是害羞小男孩。

呵呵，等不及考完試，再去把頭髮剪短！我快受不了你的頭髮那麼長了！

明天又要去上班了。偷懶一天不用唸書！

晚安咯，我的生活這學期極度無聊，我也極度自閉，

不要再來跟我說：“我看了你的部落格，你的生活好像很刺激，很有趣！

你就好啦，整天出去玩！”

我看你們認錯人了。

掰掰

p/s: I am just in the mood to type in chinese today.

我和狗的故事

2010-10-24T23:15:00.002+11:00

話說我昨天又跟艾倫哥哥游泳去了。（雖然還是覺得很害羞 ><"）
可是昨天是下雨天，我們下樓時才發現忘了帶雨傘，
手長腳長的他就毛遂自薦說他上樓拿好了，
所以叻我就在樓下電梯門口等他。

等著等著，突然！有一隻大便色的大狗（真的是泥土黃加黑色斑點）從電梯隔壁的家走了出來，默默地走向我。我心想到底要繼續裝勇站在這，還是躲起來，遲疑了半秒，我還是決定躲到電梯另一邊的走廊裡。

（關上門對狗做鬼臉）這段是假的。

結艾倫哥哥下來從電梯們口出來時嚇了一跳，我心想說平時英勇的他這下也被大便色的狗嚇到了吧！結果他看到我之後說了一句：

“嚇死我了！我還以為你怎麼變成一隻狗了！從電梯出來你不見了，只剩一隻狗在那？”

天啊，我們家艾帥也太可愛了吧！

竟然覺得我會變成大便色的狗！我很挑OK，要變也不會變大便色的。

題目應該改成，我，他和大便色狗的故事。

untitled

2010-10-22T00:06:00.000+11:00

Yea normally that's the title for every first draft I made. But then I ended up with 327362746 untitled. So I learned to be more organised.

BTW life has been really lifeless recently. I am just running my old schedule, Monday to Thursdays classes and labs, work on Friday, then sleep in on Saturday and Sunday. Then it repeats again. Oh but I had an exception last Sunday, me and Al went swimming! It has been like 6 years since I last swam? or maybe longer than that. Thank god I could still fit in that almost decaying swimsuit.

I was SO DAMM STRESSED before the swimming session. And Al couldn't understand why. He was like: What? swimming only mah! But seriously, I think swimming is the most embarassing thing ever you could do with your bf.

Reasons:

1. You have to fit into the swimsuit perfectly. (not like I haven't worn bikini before, but I dunno why swimsuit is just so.... ARGH)

2. You have to WAX. And guys, I assure you waxing yourself (especially bikini line) is something so horrible that it is going to haunt you for the rest of your life when you walk pass the shelves that sell waxing strips in the supermarket.

3. You have to WEAR A SWIMMING CAP. I felt like a bloody bold woman, exposing my big piece of face.

4. Then you have to put on goggles. WTF? with the swimsuit + swimming cap, now you add that horrible looking goggles that make you look like a frog?

5. OK let's say you are not that outlook-oriented. How the heck am I supposed to try to swim gracefully in the water? Especially when I only know the froggy style which requires me to open my legs wide? (OMG faint)

With all the points above, I would look like a frog in a black skin, waddling in the water. Just thinking of that just made me more stressed.

But I made it. I turned into a frog right in front of the face of my bf. And lucky I found the skills-oriented bf, who thinks I swam pretty well for a girl. Phew, at least I am still human.

So girls, please think twice before going to swim with male friends. It is definitely not the same with going to the beach, where you can just wear bikini and pretend to sunbathe, or just jumping up and down in the water and scream. Swimming is a serious sport. LOL.

Alrights, I am bored of my writing as well. I really wanted to upload some piccies but since my life was so dead I hardly took any pics at all. Could only find a few from my twitter.

In love with hair bun, found some easy way to do it!

And that was just me, same spot, same pose, same hairstyle. Note I do change my bed sheet and do my laundry ;)

Going to sleep now. work tommoz.

ciao.

分享一下

2010-10-16T15:31:00.000+11:00

之前看到了這篇‘人生哲學’，想說跟大家分享一下 :)

時間，就像乳溝一樣，擠一擠就有了！

機會，就像老二一樣，緊握就會變大！

生活就像是被強姦，反抗不了就學著享受！

唸書就像嫖妓，出錢又出力！

工作就像輪姦，如果你不行，就換另一個人來做！

社會就像手淫，全部的事情都要靠自己的雙手去解決！

發薪水就像是月經，一個月不來那麼一次總覺得不能安心！

兄弟就像保險套，插多大的洞都幫你罩著！

承諾，就像一句幹你娘，人人都會說，卻沒人做得到！

A stay home recess

2010-10-04T23:21:00.000+11:00

First of all, this is a picture of me acting Avatar.

But I like Smurf better.

So I have spent 8 days sitting at home.

Most of the time watching dramas and cooking.

I don't know why I was so stressed before recess due to the endless tests and wanted to party so much, but guess the Canberra trip just sucked up all my energy, leaving me to just sit at home for the whole week to rest. And I actually enjoyed my housewife life a lot, looking up recipe and cook is so much fun! Wish I have that much time after uni starts, which is tommorow. But that's not gonna happen. 1 more month till finals! Gotta work hard since my mid session results are shitty. D:

Gonna spam this post with lotsa random pictures, especially my cooking :)

Cooked tau yiu bak the other day :D

Ingredients for our Japanese dinner night.

Our Jap dinner, yakisoba, onigiri, sushi and miso soup!

Then we had mexican dinner night.

Taco!

Painted my toes too.

Finally back to chinese. Ingredients for steamed chicken and mushroom rice.

Final product!

Uni is starting tommorow. :( x100.

I really enjoyed myself staying at home doing nothing, cleaning up my room, cooking, watching dramas, chit chat with friends... But life still has to go on.. Hopefully I get really dedicated this time and study hard!

Before I end this post,

I shall present you,

Avatar's Classic

I SEE YOU.

xoxo

Javatar.

Hate tomatoes?

2010-10-01T18:12:00.000+10:00

YES I hate tomatoes! Especially raw tomatoes! I think they had a really awkward smell and taste, I even hated ketchup before I came to Australia, after all, the chili sauce in Malaysia is superb! But since tomato is a really good vege that has a lot of vitamin C and as one of the most powerful antioxidants, I had several trials eating raw tomato and I almost puked. (I still try to eat those in the sandwiches) Since that I always show my disgusted face whenever I see people eating tomatoes.

Until...... I found this recipe that gives tomatoes a second chance!

Taa daa!

This is my tomato dessert!

This thing is really easy to make! What you need?

Lemon, tomatoes, honey, water!

1. Make some honey water in the container (make it a lil tad sweeter)

2. Boiled the tomatoes in hot water so that the skin gets soft and then drain and peeled the skin off. Cut them into pieces.

3. Brush the lemon skin, peel the skin (can add some of this skin into the container to give more lemon fragrance), and slice the lemon into thin slices.

4. Just add everything in and keep it in the fridge for at least 2 hours!

And now, the tomato has a lil bit of lemon and honey taste which is not that yucky anymore! Plus, you can drink the honey drink , and eat the sweetened lemon as well! A perfect and healthy dessert for summer : D

Try it!

Loves,

✿ Canberra Floriade 2010 ✿

2010-09-27T23:54:00.000+10:00

Finally, the long anticipated recess week has arrived! To celebrate our first day of the recess week, our family went to Canberra to visit Floriade, which is the annual tulips exhibition!! It has been my wish to visit there since I came to aussie and after 4 years finally I get to realised my dream!

We initially booked a 8 seater Kia and who knows it turns out to be a 12 seater van. The back seat was bumpy as if we are riding a horse. Luckily there are only 7 of us to manage to squeeze to the front.

It was a 3 hour drive to Canberra from Wollongong. We have nothing better to do so we just camwhored, tried to remember some old TVB theme songs, and just being noisy in the van.

Us in the ~~car~~ van.

Camwhore during toilet breaks as well :D

Stopped by at this look out point which I don't remember the name. I think it started with W.

Finally arrived at Floriade!

I like purple tulips.

Yellow is classic.

Babes of the day!

I think I looked at him more than the flowers *blush*

I forced them to make this pose, so cute. Haha!

We are meant for each other. lol. even we stayed together, we still talk endlessly, creating noise pollution in the van.

<3 white tulips too!!

Credits to Miss photographer that took sucha nice pic even after an accident (being banged by an old lady with her little car).

It is nice to visit such a lovely place, but it is precious to be able to visit it with your loved ones.

Serenity.

That's me trying to imitate a pose that I did when I were young (at lake garden).

They even have colourful umbrellas hanging in the air!

My dream house has to have a lot of flowers, and me and my husband would spend a lovely sunday gardening *dreaming*.

Jump shot is a must!

Visited the parliament house.

Went to KOKOBLACK after dinner to enjoy my favourite chocolate!

The hot chocolate and baby iced chocolate. Seriously thats the best hot choc I have ever tried. Must try if you have the chance!

It was a wonderful day trip! Had so much fun and the colourful flowers made my mood bright!

Spring is coming soon : D

✿✿✿✿

我的20個「其實...」:D

2010-09-18T23:26:00.001+10:00

其實.. 我真的有160公分，不要懷疑我！

其實.. 我每天都會發很多夢，好夢噩夢很普通的夢，有時候很日常的夢到我會分不清記憶裡的是夢境還是現實生活。

其實.. 我很不甘寂寞，我不喜歡一個人。

其實.. 我的酒量真的沒有很好，只是我的臉喝很多也不會紅，而且我的肝指數很高，膽固醇也很高。

其實.. 我真的很愛唱歌，無時無刻都愛唱，有時候我也覺得自己很吵。

其實.. 我不容易在別人面前落淚，我的外表很堅強，我內心的軟弱只有鄭穎欣和郭一零看得到。

其實.. 我除了郭一零之外，很討厭別人摸我的頭，尤其是會把頭髮撮亂的那一種，我會恨不得把那個人的頭髮拔光。

其實.. 我把朋友放得很重，可是很多時候並沒有相等的待遇，很多時候只是我自己太掏心掏肺。

其實.. 我真的很懶惰。我媽會很同意。我小學時常不做功課，中學更加不用做，好啦大學勉強一定要做。只是我考試時都是臨時抱佛腳，我真的很想改掉，但是我卻怎樣也改不掉。

其實.. 我最近愛上了煮菜，可以看到吃的人幸福我也很幸福。

其實.. 我好想當個小女人。

其實.. 我不喜歡等，我不喜歡遲到，不喜歡臨時才跟你說我不能。

其實.. 我不喜歡西方國家，我好想念馬來西亞，就算很熱很潮濕，可是那裡是家。還有很好吃的食物。

其實.. 我持續在發胖。我想要減肥，講了很多年始終沒有實現。只要有美食在前就會忘記這個念頭。

其實.. 我很想念在德國浪跡天涯的時候，吳子予一直在我旁邊一起肉慾的時候。

其實.. 我發現我突然間沒有了以前的抱負，我只想要平平凡凡的過日子，我想要有一份可以賺很多錢我又很喜歡的工作，嫁一個很愛我的老公，生幾個很可愛的bb，然後可以跟我老公白頭偕老。我並不想要拿諾貝爾獎，也不相當很傑出的女強人。我只是想要幸福一輩子。

其實.. 我希望可以陪在爸媽婆婆身邊，雖然我就是愛頂嘴。我想要可以快點賺錢給家用。

其實.. 我可以不顧一切的愛，當我死心了，我也可以頭也不回的走掉。可是我不容許背叛。

其實.. 我是從鄉下來的小孩，我們那裡有湖，有山，有瀑布。我從來沒有住過公寓，所以我很想以後有機會去大城市工作。

其實.. 我手毛腳毛都很長。爸爸說，漂亮的女生手毛都很長。他是我爸爸，他不會騙我。

其實.. 我很害怕昆蟲和會飛的動物，原因是我曾經被蜜蜂飛進校服裡，麻雀大便在我的人中上，還有哥哥養的魚死在我的校鞋裡。

最後其實… 我希望我會一直很B型下去，樂觀沒煩惱！

Airplanes

2010-09-16T23:50:00.000+10:00

Can we pretend that Airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now

wish right now wish right now

Airplanes

This song is stucked in my head ever since I first heard it.

I wish I would wish upon planes too :)

I have to many wishes.

That's me! Standing firmly even the wind was strong because I am heavy :DDD

I am having a massive headache right now. probably due to the after effects of tasting 8 different beers and the chilly wind blowing my head for the whole day :( My ears are painful too.

If I could wish now I hope spring comes faster. I want sunny and breezy day!

Pray for tommorow's weather.

Took shytloads of photos today. Will upload when my headache is gone :)

xoxo.

A little bit of love everywhere

2010-09-12T18:57:00.000+10:00

This post basically sum up my weekly life.

The little bits and pieces of me everywhere!

Pictures talk better than words :)

And there are shitloads of me.

Weekends before test: Die die also want to go shopping the second time with S my love.

We have gotta continue buying things that we didnt buy the last trip.

Boost love!

I am a poor autistic child drinking boost and eating banana bread.

Even the rain never stop us from shopping.Bought shoes that day! super happy!!

And say yes to glassless nerd specs : D

Spent some time enjoying other people's cooking. Went over to A's house for dins.

What a talented man making dumplings : P

Thumbs up to a-Liang :)

Seriously no joke OK. See how neat and tidy they are. Even me couldn't do it.

Ready to nom nom! Yay!

Oh this is just a random pic I saw in the toilet. Seriously who piss beside a toilet bowl?

Another cooking day at A's. Yummy yummy! Taiwanese tomato scramble eggs, our love!

Was walking to the bus stop and singing happily. Then he thought I was too noisy so he decided to stuff a banana to shut me up. Who knows? Jo could sing with a banana too! *high five*

(that's a mint, not a tongue pierce)

And there was this Friday that I sulked in the library because I have gotta study for midsession after work!

But I like my hair : D

But we watched Step Up 3D in unimovies! cheaper :) We are a bunch of cheapskate students.

Saturday morning: Overslept and went to Raya's celebration at botanical gardens with swollen eyes.

Ah I am not hunching! just that my cardigan appears to hang there unreasonably. LOL

food is behind us!

Different kind of malaysian food I misssssssss! greedily scooped a lot *evil laughs*

Yo we have a selamat hari raya banana cakey.

Dessert and kuih muih table... Hmm I am hungry now.

Introducing satay to him.

Greedy fatty us trying all the desserts after eating a big plate of food.

Jiwan & Shazza :)

Oh this scene is so Malaysianish.

People I adore.

Yes we are the celebs, see everybody is trying to take snap shot of us!

Spot me.

Went to uni after that.

To watch youtube.

LOL.

Started studying after that.

And decided that life is too boring in the library after 2 hours.

So I took a stroll around the peaceful uni on a Saturday :)

Running and skipping happily at the duck pond.

Writing on the sands.

Chasing the duckies.

It has been ages since I felt carefree and young again. It has been ages since I last wrap my arms around nature. And I am glad our uni is green, not some greyish colourless concrete jungle.

Paparazzi snapshot of the girls from the outside of the library.

Look at how Mr Engineer enjoys his lemon poppyseed muffin. He makes the muffin seems like it tasted really great.

converse loves.

And then on a Sunday Morning:

Heading to the library again.

Me and my longtime no use agnes b bag.

On the bus :)

Twitted this pic.. Follow us!

Ending this post with another picture of me,

eating banana again.

cheers.

That's how I spend my week.

Spotted

2010-09-10T00:26:00.001+10:00

Guess who's on UOW's website today?

From UOW's website.

http://media.uow.edu.au/news/UOW086983.html

Media story about our university and Germany's uni tie.

I am so short! : P

Crazy Windy Day in Wgong

2010-09-06T00:25:00.000+10:00

As what the title says:

Woke up at 7am by the strong windy whooshing today, Looked out of the window, and trees were swaying left and right, and believe me the sound of the wind is S-C-A-R-Y.

And this was what happened after half and hour. -.-"

The wind speed was 120km/h? Even exceeds the speed limit in Malaysia. LOL

And guess what happened to the fences?

These are VERY HEAVY metals. Cause lastime when the pavement flooded I climb on them to cross the puddles. And see how all of them collapsed. And that means there is no way I could walk home!

Managed to find a way to cross to the other side of the fences. But we ended up got stucked.

And guess what, we crawled underneath the very small space between the green things there.

Guess we both have very flexible body. LOL. Can join Limbo rock.

And my new converse became the poor victim of this disaster :(

Poor little trees.

I suddenly realised how disastrous nature can be.

Only wind itself can cause this much destruction.

Love mother nature please, be environmental,

I don't wana die at 2012.

Study day all day :(

Mid-session is here and tests are all around.

Obviously I wasn't concentrating.

Random pic of my pen holder. I love my colourful stationeries :)

Btw, I was very happy to get my results back for my Viagra research and presentation! :)

So now consult me if you think you need Viagra : P

Time to turn off the lights.

Nights.

xoxo

Happy Birthday to Sammy!

2010-09-04T00:17:00.001+10:00

Happy Birthday!!

Presenting you a Chanel Bday cakey ;)

Have a blast!!Blow Ivan up! (Sounds so wrong =.=")

teehee.

xoxo

(Pathetically I couldn't find a pic of us from ur last trip ==)

$$ Burning Day

2010-09-03T00:24:00.001+10:00

Finally S and I went to the mall after 6 weeks since the session started.
We are like bald head craving for wig, fat boy craving for ice cream, student craving for holidays.
We are like us craving for shopping.
Sadly the mall here closes at 5pm everyday (lousy right), so the only time we have is tonight, which is the holy Thursday night! Late night shopping till 9pm! (Still closes earlier than malaysian malls =.=)
I actually got so used to the time here I felt like shopping at night in Malaysia is really dangerous. FML.

The weather was bad bad and bad today, chilly and rainy, but nothing can stop us from going to the mall!!!!!
Suddenly remembered Robin's song in How I Met Your Mother, "Let's go to the mall, TODAY!" LOL

We went there after class, didn't even bothered to go home and put our heavy books, as I 'conveniently' asked my beloved bf to bring them home for us.. What? We treated him dinner after that OK.

Started our fitting room frenzy again.

heart ♥ this

Aya joined us tonight ;) Dinner at her workplace coconut thai. Always love Thai food!

Busy tweeting each other across the table.

Love. He actually hurt his neck that he couldn't turned left. LOL but forced him to take this pic from this angle. Thanks for tolerating me for being a PMS bitch.

We rushed back to the mall after dinner to shop again.

But too sad we didn't have enough time to shop sufficiently, hopefully we can go back there again soon and buy all those stuff that we wanted to buy! Wgong mall is so tiny but we still managed to spend money in it. Guess girls just go crazy with all the impulse buys.

We are officially their owner now!

Drinking mum's ginger tea with S's princess cup. Full of love :)

What a tiring day.

lights off.

微博記

2010-09-02T00:05:00.005+10:00

我今天早上去吵醒睡眼惺忪的鄭穎欣用他的電腦發現她竟然有微博！用來stalk高以翔！然後她就跟我說了她微博的故事。（她的名字是第二夢！）（我想說：去死吧！）他說他不想放真名，結果就想了一大堆有的沒有的名字：粉紅小豬？！！！（竟然被別人用掉了）虧他有勇氣放這種名字！輸人不輸陣，我也弄了一個微博來‘關注’ （follow）她，順便也來stalk明星們。。當然，我才不會放粉紅小豬這種噁心的名字。

所以我們倆今天就一直沉溺在有的沒有的微博上面，然後去reactivate我們n年沒用的twitter，唉我們真的很out。不過不怕，從今天起我們就很in了！結果我們就在fb上發表了一連串的蠢comments。可是是live的哦！

話說我發完‘我好想大便’之後我真的就去上大號了。（廁所在她房間門口）結果她發現我的comment之後發現我真的在廁所，就大笑！

我：笑屁啊！（還在上大號）
她：（繼續沒形象地笑）
我：怎樣，沒想到我真的在上大號吧！

（一陣激動的笑聲。。。）

上完廁所出來。。

她跑來我後面笑。。 =。=”

有醬好笑咩？？？？！！！

好啦，這是一篇記錄我們倆無聊小事的文章。不需要太認真。

要找到可以跟你一起白痴過日子的人不容易。♥

pardon me, i feel like some rojak mandarin today.

後記：那張照片她在做“韓日混血”的表情。
話說韓國人的眼睛向上，日本人的眼睛向下，混了就一上一下！

Global Highway 2010

2010-08-31T00:07:00.000+10:00

It has been agesss since I last showed up in my blog, I know.

Cause I have gained so much weight and my skin condition is bloody terrible :(

Can someone help meeee?

Ahh well, I am still chubby even without weight gain, just chubbier now.

SO Imma show you the latest me!!!

Last week!

But well another reason is I have been so occupied by uni I have no time to go out and no time to take pictures at all. I have not been dressing up to uni for ages and I find myself really slouchy and hunched back a lot. Guess my self concious is extremely low when I just wear whatever to uni. And then I became really slacky. So one day when I suddenly woke up from my laziness, I have decided to at least pick something from the closet everyday, instead of wearing whatever that hangs on the wall.

Alrights back to Global Highway, its an annual event where every country set up their own stalls, and you play mini games in order to get a stamp, and when you get all the stamps on your global passport you get to exchange some gifts!

Lia and I early morning with our passports!

Yay! mission completed!

Got T-shirts in return!

And then camwhore abit. Got a Australian flag tattoo from the aussie stall. Damm I looked so exhausted here. See what uni did to me? wrinkles at 20? OMG need more eye cream.

Love the necklace from Aunty Ann, a must have!

Anyways spring is hitting in weeks and my closet is still empty! no floral, no denim, no nothing!

I deffo needed to stock up! and gosh, I haven't been shopping for almost 2 months! what happened to me? Life is all about uni now, ya I deserve it!

I am so sick of uni now I want to go home! I want to just graduate this year and don't do honours!

But well work harder and harder, and earn more money and save up my travel funds.

That's the principle I am holding on to until my birthday, which is the 1st day of summer holidays!

Can't wait for my 21st :)

Time

2010-08-18T22:06:00.000+10:00

How can it be August already? When I'd barely do anything over the past eight months?
Realised I had a bad memory these days, can't remember stuffs.
Alright actually I did lotsa stuff this year, I was in Germany, Malaysia, Singapore then back to this small little town with blue sky and no clouds. Then my life is all about little molecules and drugs and expensive machines. And I lost weight and gained weight. Then I forget all my german. Really miss Germany though. My happy little time, not that I am not happy now, but Germany gives me a different feeling of being independent and adventurous. And Wollongong gives me this safe and secure feeling. Then what's Taiping? Have I forgotten about Taiping? It changes and changes and changes and I had only step foot on Taiping for 12 days this year and maybe 4 days end of this year? Maybe the new definition of home is Wollongong now. How pathetic. And it has been a while since I last talk to anyone in Taiping except my mum. Guess friendship has long distance too.

Sometimes I wished that time stops,
because I don't want to leave you;
and sometimes I wished that time goes faster,
because I can't wait to see you.

kisses.

That bloody grain of rice

2010-08-12T23:26:00.001+10:00

Yes as what my title has said, there was this stubborn grain of rice that gone into my nasal passageway or somewhere in there while I was eating/chatting excitedly with Allen about angpao money. (Apparently Taiwan's market price is at least RM100, and I was saying I shall visit him during CNY to earn some money.) And yeah serves me right, shallow-money-minded-eating-too-quickly me.

And I have been blowing my nose and coughing hardly for the whole day, even tried to google about solutions, and tried sniffing pepper to make myself sneeze but ended up sucking pepper into my nostrils and didn't sneeze. I guess sneezing is really a reflex and I can't control it. Gosh, who is going to take my grain of rice out for me?

OK anyway my day was hyper today. I woke up bloody early in the morning to go to my 1st research group meeting with the academics, my professors and his PhD students. It was initially an terrifying experience as I was a little-nobody undergraduate that doesn't know a thing, but then my supervisor introduced me and said 'Welcome to out team!' (was so easily affected by team spirit). OK anyway I am going to spend the next few months of my life working for him as his ~~concubine~~ (well I used to say that because I kept waiting for my other supervisor last session, its like a concubine standing by 24 hours just to wait to get into an affair) Alright back to the topic I am actually a research assistant, involve in a research investigating lipids in human lenses, and I am going to extract human lens! Woot's hyper, always happy to play around with human parts :P

I am gaining access to the Illawara Health and Medical Research Institute (IHMRI) which basically only open its access to medical school students or bio/chem postgrads doing research. The building is brand new! Just finished its construction last month and I was like a thrilled little kid being brought to the playground for the 1st time. And they had a hot chocolate machine there, giving me enough reason to like it. I will have a cuppa every hour then maybe :P

And then S and I went to the gym, doing body burn class, so bloody tiring running up and down doing aerobics on the Reebok step. And I think at some point we looked like a frog stepping on that platform.

Alrighty, thats basically some real updates about my life recently, and I gained weight! Happy person gain weight right ;P Gotta sleep, have to work tommorow! hope all goes well and I get paid nicely :)

xx.

I'm glad

2010-08-10T00:27:00.000+10:00

I found you

when I fell out of love, when I thought I am not capable of loving anymore.

the chemistry was too strong, it was undeniable. it was hard to ignore, and although we both tried to, we did not succeed, and instead resulted in a much stronger bond.

we are complimentary for each other, you are talkative, but i am far more talkative. you listen to my rants, my stories, my bitchy gossips, and i laugh at your stupid jokes, your little words, and your dreamy mumbles before you fall asleep.

i am spontaneous but you think too much, it works out that i drag you out of your unnecessary worries, and you stop me from rushing into things.

we were never very romantic, no flowers, no presents, no surprises, therefore no affectation. and then i learn to appreciate what comes from the heart, the most fundamental things like love, care and your sincere smile. not to forget your touched expression whenever i cook for you. i then remember what love tastes like, when there is no artificial ingredients added to it.

we get along easily. we can just talk for the whole day, sing for the whole trip, sometimes we debate about things, and sometimes we just enjoy each other's company in silence when we are busy.

you are like a friend, a mentor, whom i could easily spill my secrets to. you don't judge, and you listen tentatively even if i was talking about my past relationships. and then you tell me you understand how hard it is, and how bad it feels. with you, i could easily be me, and be truthful with my feelings, i don't need to be shy, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about, even when i have my stinky hair (like everyday), or telling you my feelings, or waking up drooling. you accept me just the way i am. and you love me without make up.

with you, everything seems so simple. being happy is simple.

i am lucky to have found you , and you said its like you have waited so long to have finally found me. you are about as lucky to have found me too.

and then we would have laughed at how amazing it is, where we were born 7 years and 3090.67 kilometers apart, and we both traveled across the hemisphere and finally met at this little place, then fell madly in love. I can't deny but admit that it is fate. we are fated for each other, at this moment of life.

and today, is a special day to remember how we got together month ago.

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight

The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

(Making love out of nothing at all - air supply)

非你莫屬

2010-08-05T22:25:00.000+10:00

也許會笑著哭但那人是你所以不怕苦

這是我最喜歡的一句。

就算心在痛淚在流

在被你擁入懷裡的那一刻

一切都無所謂了

因為我有你。

Restart

2010-07-27T22:41:00.001+10:00

Winter break is finally over and I am being throw back into reality.
Uni is busy as usual.

Had a great break, was busy seeing people, going out, having heaps of fun and feeling loved.

Wan Lin came down for a visit and we went to see Kiama's blow hole together.

The famous blow hole.

Dearest Yuko came back from Japan for her graduation and of course us must hang out.

Oh when is my turn to wear my robe?

I had so much fun this holiday, although it is hard to see friends leaving too, wondering when is the next time I would meet them. Bless them for their better future!

And I have been eating so much lately. Not exaggerating but I ate like 6 slices of pizza myself? And nommed down endless chips and cokes, lollies and crackers with cheese dip. I am literally a pig.

I GAINED 4 KG.

Disastrous.

OK diet diet diet. and keep fit keep fit keep fit.

but before that I will have some ice cream now.

LOL.

Snort.

Letting go

2010-07-21T00:22:00.000+10:00

is something difficult to learn.
Sometimes you try hard to let go of negative thoughts, let go of some complicated emotions, let go of all the frustrations, but somehow all those come back in another way, either from your little heart knocking reminding you, or from some people that doesn't even know what's happening but discussing heatly about you.

Or sometimes you see your loved ones not letting go, that hurts too. Just like you feel the pain yourself, in their shoes, and how you wish you could pull them out of the hell which you know is impossible. They are their own cure. Nobody can help.

Doubt. When you doubt about something, you know something is wrong. Because if you know the definite answer why take the time to doubt? But sometimes you know there is no turning back. Once something happened, once some words said, there is no way to erase. Life is not a CD player, you can't go backwards.

And of course in life, you learn to give and take. When you thought taking is better, you ended up demanding more and more, and you are never going to be satisfied with what is being given. And then you thought, maybe giving is better, at least when you give you felt happier. But then back to reality, can you keep giving and expect nothing in return? When you give, you expect a little bit in return, maybe not as much as what you gave, but at least the little gratitude for what you have given? And when you don't get any, will you still give as much? Or you would ended up missing being given, where taking seems a lot easier? Where you just take everything for granted without thinking so much?

And then you would die when you lose it. When you realise life is not about taking nor giving anymore. Then what's it?

Human being always confuse themselves, and I guess I am one of them.

Nights people. Ciao.

Holidays!

2010-07-11T21:12:00.000+10:00

Finally, the long anticipated winter holidays have arrived 3 weeks ago. Throwing away all the stress and books, off I fly to Airlie Beach to enjoy give myself a break from all the nonsense here. It is a pretty place, quiet, not much people escpecially asians. The water is exceptionally blue, the breeze is gentle and fresh, the sun is warm but not burning your skin. It is indeed an ideal place to getaway from the chilly cold winter in Wollongong. And it is the first time I have watched sunset almost everyday in my life :)

Got on board to sail around the islands, although the weather wasn't good, and the sail ripped off at the start of the journey, I have survived two nights on the boat. We went snorkelling, which is totally opposite from my so called snorkelling experience in Pulau Paya, where the water is just untill my knee and I squatted to look at the fishes swam by. Snorkelling in the sea makes me feel very very insecure, like I would drown anytime a wave hit by or there would be a shark behind me and I wouldn't notice. Obviously I think too much. But I see all the pretty corals and fishes, just like the documentaries and I was impressed! Not so impressed though when my feet was scratched by all those dead corals and it is still itchy till today.

Mum is not happy with me sunbathing (my face). And I got tanned after coming back :D

Went to the Whitehaven Beach, the most amazing beach I have ever seen in my life.

Looking dumb in the wet suit but just focus on the the water, it is all clear, like you wouldn't believe your eyes when you see it and the sand is so fine and white (pure silica).

I am missing that place already! I hope I would go back someday :)

Still couldn't believe I have been to that place.

And miss having Baskin Robins under the hot sun. And the cooling breeze never makes you sweat.

Perfect weather.

The marina at Airlie Beach. Dreaming about someday when I could buy my own boat and go sailing.

Blue sky, blue sea, blue me.

Came back to the Gong all tanned and chubby. That's what holidays are for right? To make you relax, eat, and grow fat :(

Clubbing with the sweeties @ Illa. Japanese night!

And see who is back! My ex-unit mate Steph had decided to come back from HK for a break and ruin my holidays. She stayed over for a few nights and we bitched like hell.

Went to watch Shrek 3 together and this Missy took my student card to get a concession. Teacher acting student, tsk tsk tsk.

Just came back from Melbourne yesterday with S.

Met up with pin and chloe! We met every year since we came to Aussie! At different cities :) Missing them already. It is nice to talk to someone that knows everything about you. save up so much energy to explain stuffs. Love this pic so much! Us looking sophiscicated!

Disaster for the hotel to have both of us. We can spend a whole two hours camwhoring in our bath robes LOL. That's us, we can do whatever we want and not feeling awkward, be it with lotsa gossiping and bitching, or some touching heart talks or just purely silence. We feel comfortable in each other's company.

Finally get to meet these ladies, S's sunway mates. Had great time with them, and brainwashed with all the KK accent. Gang bu gang?

And results are out! Glad I still managed to maintain my average.

Two more weeks till uni starts again. And before that, I am going to make sure I slack every second of my winter break!

Ciao.

我跟自己的對話

2010-06-17T20:58:00.000+10:00

念了還是記不起來，記了還是回答不出來，那幹嘛念?
要記的藥，跟肚子裡的大便一樣多。
好想死哦，什麼爛科目，那麼多東西要記，記東西本來就不是我的強項！
死到臨頭才在這裡抱怨，懦弱！早點念今天就不用淪落到這種地步了啦。
好啦好啦，下次不敢了。下學期要好好念。每次都醬講，沒有一次有認真念。
什麼dean list，什麼top 5%，發夢的時候拿就好，什麼時候才要醒？
就只有考試的時候才會這樣想，考完試就立刻忘記，哈。

還有兩天，趕快熬過去，就可以大玩特玩了！
星期天要去sydney，星期二要出海去啦！！
所以呢，現在先認真念，要不然星期六等著進考場哭吧。
加油！！衝！

最近喝太多含咖啡因的東西，一直處於亢奮狀態。
可是在圖書館還是睡著了，而且太累了發夢突然間自己回應自己“嗯”了一聲，
還要被自己的“嗯”嚇醒，莫名其妙。

我累了，身體和頭腦都很累了。

我需要愛。:)

Random things I want to say.

2010-06-11T13:06:00.000+10:00

1. It was super cold yesterday, and I wore so many layers I felt like a dumb eskimo.

2. Attacked by flu virus, and the meds are super cute, colour coded :)

3. vege soup noodles have become my daily diet now, I have been eating them for the past week!

Amazed by my veges tolerance.

4. Its my presentation day today, and Eliza and I were saying that we should wear something that makes us looks professional, but I ended up looking like a high school student WTF.

It's ok, B says as long as its pretty :) who cares. And fake a sincere smile.

5. Trying to act like some gangsta head in high school. Call me Queen J.

6. I am super hyper now, finally dumping my project after 3 months! I am a vain high school student.

Back to study. Exams in 4 days FML. No study no sleep!

My oh My.

2010-06-10T15:19:00.000+10:00

Me last year this time.

Me this year this time.

I hate study week.

running nose.

Have been practising my presentation from yesterday till today and still can't get fluent enough.

Urgh I hate my incapabilities. Got stucked when it comes to presenting my results.

I sound like a horse now. And the phlegm all stucked in my throat.

Maybe I should dress like a horse tommorow.

Ignore me, the flu virus has totally conquered my brain.

I have no idea what I am talking now.

Ciao.

Shin's 21st!!! and I Can't wait for next Saturday.

2010-06-07T22:00:00.001+10:00

When my exams are over. I am going to ~~eat sleep slack drink dance party travel shop kiss hug play and~~ be me.

Till then I am going to study like a bitch. Thesis was over finally, after 3 months of working hard on a project, I produced a 52 pages report. 52! Don't play play ah!

Submitted my three final assignments for Autumn 2010!

You won't know how it feels when I can finally print and bind my report. That kind of excitement!

But it is not over yet.

I still need to present my project in the seminar this friday to other academics.

*scream* those professors are going to ask me hard questions! :(

I slept didn't sleep much for the whole week last week, thanks to my bladder infection and the last minute assignments, and I am nothing but a walking corpse. But once I finished submitting my assignments, I went out shopping with Shin to prepare for her birthday party! I should have done that earlier but sorry I was really slacking and drag it till the last minute.

Helium balloons and streamers are a must!

The liquor store adventure, tequilla is our final decision.

Started to deco the mini cupcakes

Final product! I am a genius! Used the only resources at home and made a tower. I like organising parties :)

Shots for the birthday girl that night!

Michelle thinks she needs a hot guy.

Sharon thinks she needs to get laid

It was a massive party, many people showed up! great job people!

Gorgeous babe. Happy birthday!

And her kisses started.

Awkward.

She is enjoying it as much as the guys do..haha

And she 'blew' a dick. Amazing 21st right?

And then she drank like 10 shots, very KUAT.

And she licked.

Kiss from the hot guy. He is incredibly hot I would say. And sweet too.

And drank sportily.

Ended up hugging me awkwardly.

How can she not shot with me? I am like the first person that made her do shots in her life!

And my too-happy-I-can-finally-drink face.

I have been waiting for too long!

My constipated lemon look.

Lu & I, have known her since I came, like 4 years already and this is our 1st picture together? Gosh we should hang out more babe!

And Harri and Michelle behind.

Mandy, Cassie, Me, Sally & Kenji.

We left home around 12 to hit the club!

In the car. This was when this girl french kissed me. I guess she was pretty drunk.

And we started kissing like nobody's business? and she never looked at the camera again, all the pics taken were abnormal, LOL.

Happily ever after feel :) haha

Kissing here and there.

She licked Harri's boobs. :P

U get what I meant about our pichas are never normal anymore?

Haha she is so noisy when she was drunk. And me and Sharon had to chase her here and there.

Allen is the winner of the night I guess. We don't simple kiss other guys ok. :P (exception for S that night)

And then everyone was like looking at us kissing ><" S, I have no dignity anymore! hahaha

She really enjoyed herself that night, and I was really happy seeing her enjoying :) Getting tipsy is good ay? Let's do it again after exams!

Haru the shy boy.

And finally she made her way through all the highness, and came back to normal.

My bestest S, I hope you had a blast. EXPLODE YOUR 21!

Stayed till the club closed.

Went to Outback the next day with the family, S is practically family already.

Waiting for Steak!

Baby back pork ribs YUMM no steak for me that day.

Her shitty strawberry cocktail.

Bloody tired after the whole sleepless week. And taking care of that hyper S the night before.

Ordered the yummy dessert and a candle for her!

In like 5 minutes. She didn't eat the candle. CHEH.

Winter is here, boots time!

Happy birthday again honey!!! Ur 20 expired! welcome to the fresh new start of 21!

My handmade birthday card for her this year :)

Made of these. I am creative! yay!

A friend in need is a friend indeed! In case she needs it in any emergency cases she can just pull it!

And super thoughtful of me!

My birthday present for Shin this year. Its heels with a small diamond on it, wishing her a sexy year ahead, and hopefully she could quickly find the prince that would help her wear her Cinderella shoes.

I love you S, always.

Mode active

2010-05-31T00:44:00.000+10:00

I am busy, I am grumpy, I am tired, I am dizzy, I am chubby, but all of all, I am happy.

And thanks for making my life happy.

Mode active in ~~facebook.~~ last five days to finish my thesis and 1 report 1 assignment.

Bless me.

2 weeks till finals, 3 weeks till winter break, then my honeymoon holidays :)

(not yet book also =.= S!! lets get our holidays plan going)

till then, Joann

2010-05-25T00:46:00.000+10:00

No matter how much I wanted to yell, silence still manage to pierce through the night. That big lump is still stucked in my throat, and the heavy rock is never lifted from my chest. And I realized, it's too late to realize that the deadlines are forcing themselves towards me. I have written almost 30 pages and that still couldn't conclude everything I have done in the past 11 weeks. Crap. I will just need to write more.

I miss the beach. I miss the sea.I miss the me, stress-free.

Food and me.

2010-05-22T20:15:00.000+10:00

I always have this love-hate relationship with food.
I love food, I cannot resist food, and food is my source of happiness.
But after eating I feel super guilty, for all that pounds that are already weighing inside my body, and the exercise that regime never happened :( I stood up on S for the 3rd time today, it's the bus fault that I couldn't get to body balance in time!

Anyways, I went to Outback yesterday for steak! yes STEAK!!
It had been a while since I last ate steak, and Outback definitely serves the best steak here!

Iphone. Best companion while waiting for food.

The drink is something that tastes like Taiping Special @ New Club. I miss.

Call it red stripes day.

Best starters in the world! Caesar Salad, Punpkin Soup and the yummy brown bread.

My prime roasted rib + roasted garlic mash + mushroom soup.

Medium raw. both me and the steak.

Just nice.

Outback steak house Fairy Meadow.

And the me trying to dress marine.

Last week was IFF and the Malaysians @ CE who basically consist of the Seng family and Shin, made curry puffs!!!I assure you they are super yummy! despite the oil.

In the progress of frying curry puffs.

shin, lia, me and sara behind.

You get what I mean of the oil?

I am super hot!

from the frying.

Fav pic of the day.

Started to go around disturbing other people when we are done with our work.

Malaysia Boleh.

Grabbed all those food from different countries, Thai Tom Yum is super duper yum!

She appeared in almost all my posts. she is already the parasite of my blog, no need to intro.

Oh I love this pic too! Make it the most fav pic of the day as well.

Sara & I. The excellent product of Sri Lanka + Japan. :P

They gave us apron instead of t-shirts this year. and it is super long. too long for sexiness.

My superb photography skills! :)

Enough of food for today.

Oh btw I had Malaysian curry just now, yum yum :) My superb bro cooked it.

Loves.

p/s: Let yourself go, and let everyone around you go. Your life doesn't need to be miserable, and don't mess up with other's too.

Amazing things that happen in Wollongong

2010-05-10T21:53:00.000+10:00

There was a Asian Night two weeks ago :) It gathered almost all of the Asian community in Wollongong and so the hot unit mates and I have decided to check out for hot guys there (although we know we would be thoroughly disappointed but we still hoped it wouldn't be that bad).

And it was BAD. (The hot guys part)

But anyways we enjoyed ourselves a lot that night, dance dance and dance. Clubbing is not about drinking to us, it's about shaking our ass off at the dance floor. And the music rocks (besides they say they don't have Lady Gaga wtf).

Here comes my Asian favourites,

Yuki, Nahoko, Kai, moi, Tracy & Allen.

and the back row Haru, Take, Nick.

S babe & I. For the sake of her future, I lend her my new dress to hunt!

Babe u know how much I love you now?!

Hot Hot Hot!

All the time party mates.

Seaweed Yuki & I

Cammy, moi, Allen & Terrence

Aya, really sexy that night with her bikini inside.

Oh so lovely unit mates :)

So besides partying I have been studying like a bitch with all my presentations, reports, essays and research.

And after I studied like a bitch I eat and party like a bitch.

And now my weight is going up like a bitch.

So like one week ago, when me and the two brothers were thinking where to eat, we have decided to eat at this restaurant called Crystal Thai in Wollongong.

Very nice ambience in Crystal Thai

Picked all the dishes from Chef's recommendation.

Left, BBQ lamb, something like sweet and sour chicken, and fried fish.

And they have these romantic candle lights :)

I love this pic, and I am missing the food.

Just look at all those amazing food decorations that boost your appetite!

We nommed down everything, yummy :)

Wish I can go there again soon, the ambience is perfectly romantic.

hah, i'll have to wait till that romantic guy appear :)

Well, besides these, routine has been pretty usual.

Nowhere better than library that you could find me nowadays. I am like there most of the time.

And I listen to those super high songs and it made me wana dance in the library.

This was 9.30pm in the library @@

till then,